12 Weeks to Ironman

Today has been a hard one for me. I was released from my calling as 1st Counselor in the Young Women's Presidency at church.  Last week we had kind of a farewell party for the president and the other counselor, but for some reason I thought I would be staying on. I don't know why, that's not how it works. The president is released, the new president is called, and she calls her new counselors. I must have had a very big head thinking she would choose me so that there would be someone from the old presidency still there. It was selfish of me to want that, the new ladies who got called probably need this calling as much as I did. It is hard not to take it personally and get upset when I wasn't picked, though. I kind of feel like I've been dumped (see, I've been spending too much time with teen-agers), and I've been feeling a little depressed all day. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would in church, and I got to go to Young Women's one last time so that was good, but I did stay in bed longer than I usually would when it was nap time.

I found out I would be released on Thursday when a member of the bishopric stopped by to tell me. I was totally shocked. Even when he first got here and started telling me about the changes that were going to happen, I still thought he was just letting me know about the others. He wasn't going to release me. I thought, "Why would they release me? I'm not going anywhere. I haven't been in this calling long, and I just love it so much." The girls really mean so much to me, and I hate the thought of not going to the Tuesday night activities and being in class with them on Sundays. 

After he left, I struggled and cried a little with the thought of leaving, then Pete reminded me that callings are inspiration from God. I decided that I needed to have faith in this. The new president was called of God, and if she didn't feel inspired to call me as one of her counselors, then that was what the Lord wanted. It must be time for me to move on. As I was getting ready for bed, still thinking about this, I opened my scriptures to Doctrine and Covenants 101 and read a verse that I had highlighted.

16. Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.

I had left "Zion" un-highlighted and I remembered my seminary teacher, back in high school, telling us to insert whatever our problem was here. I immediately started crying because this was an answer to my unspoken prayer. I know that my calling and my release were from God. I know I am in His hands, and I was comforted. He cares for us and will comfort us even in little things like this.

Next week, I will go to church feeling a little lost, like I'm new in the ward again. I'm a little nervous for this, but I know it will be good. I'm sure my new calling will be something that I need and I will end up loving it too.